|My son, two years ago. Photo by J. Stahl|
If you haven't, I would recommend starting with the following posts:
I have to say I'm so very proud of my boys and they're doing rather well developmentally. They are definitely children that you would describe as "more", "difficult", "strong-willed", or even "high needs". This weekend, my eldest asked for a baby boy. This was a mild misunderstanding that was gradually cleared up. He wanted an anatomically correct male baby doll, not another baby brother.
We sat and had a lovely chat, went online and found two, and he picked what he wanted and purchased it out of his own money. We also looked at outfits and baby carriers (that's mine in the photo - oh how many times we had to wrap that around him for it to work with his bear!) and he purchased himself two complete outfits, a ring sling and a mei tai. We sat and went through fabric choices and I hope he enjoys his purchase.
Today is Rosh Hashanah, so I am understandably busy, as we are now in the 10 days of Awe leading up to Yom Kippur and later, Sukkot. I'm also getting major health checkups, so my posting may be a bit erratic again. I won't know until I have more news.
Since I've been gone over the last several weeks, I've been doing lots of reading. Not just on Celiac Disease, but child development and child psychology. I must have printed at least half a ream of paper just doing that.
If you follow me on pinterest, I am sure you've noticed some of the studies I've been posting in my parenting boards. You might also notice that there are days that I post more of these things than I do of anything else. Much of the reasoning behind this has to do with the fact that I tend to study issues in spurts.
I would like to share some of the studies that I have been reading this summer. Some of them have to do with younger ages of children, and some of them have to do with school-aged children. The bulk of the information I have found is about gentle parenting methods, though some of it has to do with education.
I'm sure some would wonder why I'm compiling such a list together on my blog in the first place. Short answer: children are people too. Longer answer: My egalitarian beliefs do not only extend to marriage, and I believe that if we see people in the image of G-d, we would deal with them with a lot more equity than most parenting methods allow for. Also, being Messianic, many of my parenting philosophies are highly influenced by Judaism, which doesn't allow for beating, talking down to, passive aggressiveness towards or speaking ill of your children in their presence. (Like some sects of Christianity do.)
Without further ado, here is my summer reading list:
- Psychology Today: The evolutionary anthropology of parenting and child development: "Babies can't remember" is bunk
- Understanding How Emotional Development in Childhood Affects Adults: Fostering Spiritual Abuse via the "Roots of Victimization"
- Parenting in the Name of God
- The Long Shadow: Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse
- The Long-term Health Outcomes of Childhood Abuse - An Overview and a Call to Action
- Spanking Kids: Is it abuse?
- What's the Jewish perspective on disciplining children? Are there limits on punishments that a parent is supposed to impose on their child?
- Spanking babies for God: Why America is The Most Violent First World Country
- Beating Babies in the Name of Jesus
- Child-spanking as Sexual Abuse
- How Spanking Can Cause Sexual Arousal In Children And Affect Them In Adulthood
- Another letter to another pastor on spanking
- Plain Talk about Spanking
- Powerful Parenting
- Confessions of an AP Mom who [once] spanked
- 9 Reasons You Defend Spanking Your Kids
- Emotional Abuse in Children: Warning Signs and How To Help
- Pregnant Women's Hostile Attributions About Infants Predict Offspring Maltreatment
- Ending corporal punishment - Swedish experience of efforts to prevent all forms of violence against children - and the results
- The Comfort Corner: Fostering Resiliency and Emotional Intelligence
- The Comfort Corner
- Five ways to nurture yourself while nurturing your child
- 10 Survival Tips for Introverted Parents
- Five steps to get re-energized
- Want to feel more alive? Take the stone out of your shoe.
- How to transform what's been draining you with your child
- 10 stress busting strategies for parents
- Feeling irritable? 5 steps to shift into a better place.
- How to Reconnect with your child when you're having a hard day
- A Sponge or a Stone?
- Accepting Our Best
- Top 50 Open-Ended Questions for Sparking Conversation with Older Kids
- Are We Raising Emotionally Whole Children?
- How to be a happy vacation parent all year long
- Basic Needs Checklist for Parents
- 10 Places to Look for Family Time
- Why Spoiled Babies Grow Up To Be Smarter, Kinder Kids
- To Mamas of Little Ones in Church
- 15 positive strategies for dealing with conflicts, arguments & back talk
- Does Your Child Consider You an Adversary or an Advocate?
- When your child hits you
- When your child hits your other child
- What to do when the toddler hits older siblings
- Stop asking my daughter to give you a kiss
- Let's get physical! 15 easy exercises for parents and kids
- Surviving Boring Errands with Kids
- Raising the Stakes: Bedtimes, Allowance and Responsibilities. Small Steps Are Best When It Comes To Changing A Child's Routine
- Night Waking is Normal
- If Gentle Discipline Isn't Working, This Might Be The Reason
- Before Beginning Reading (Setting up your child for success)
- National Literacy Trust: Book ownership and its relation to reading enjoyment, attitudes, behaviour and attainment
- The Case for Cursive
- What Learning Cursive Does For Your Brain
- The Benefits of Cursive Writing
- Top 10 Reasons to Learn Cursive
- Biological and Psychology Benefits of Learning Cursive
- I've also started following this blog. :)
It is my hope, that in sharing these articles and studies that I am able to help you find resources and spur you on to study the issue for yourself. With my background, I have a lot to overcome if I am to parent gently and with respect. You, might not. Our mileages vary.
I am leaving comments open on this post. The only thing that I ask, is that if there are to be any comments, remember that this is a gentle parenting, egalitarian blog and I will remove anything inflammatory that is posted in the comments. Not because I don't want to see the other side's point of view, but because I would like to encourage a gentle environment of understanding rather than people yelling their opinions over each other and being a general pain in the rear.