I have longed for thy salvation, O L-RD; and thy Torah is my delight. Let my soul live, and it shall praise thee; and let thy judgments help me. I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments. Psalm 119:174-176

05 September 2013

What I've been doing this summer break

My son, two years ago. Photo by J. Stahl
It's hard to believe that this photo is from June 2011. . . and my little boy had the curliest red hair I'd ever seen in ages.  I'm sure by now, most of you who have been following along with my blog have noticed that I've outed myself as a gentle, grace-based parent.

If you haven't, I would recommend starting with the following posts:
 I've been wanting to write this post for a while, and struggling with what to say. Mostly because I'm still struggling with being triggered from several different things, the least of which being punitive parenting methods and the biggest being that I have old tapes running in my head when my boys ask to do something I would love for them to do, but would get them called all sorts of ugly names back in the USA for wanting to do them. One of those ugly names being "girl".

I have to say I'm so very proud of my boys and they're doing rather well developmentally. They are definitely children that you would describe as "more", "difficult", "strong-willed", or even "high needs".  This weekend, my eldest asked for a baby boy. This was a mild misunderstanding that was gradually cleared up. He wanted an anatomically correct male baby doll, not another baby brother.

We sat and had a lovely chat, went online and found two, and he picked what he wanted and purchased it out of his own money. We also looked at outfits and baby carriers (that's mine in the photo - oh how many times we had to wrap that around him for it to work with his bear!) and he purchased himself two complete outfits, a ring sling and a mei tai. We sat and went through fabric choices and I hope he enjoys his purchase.

Today is Rosh Hashanah, so I am understandably busy, as we are now in the 10 days of Awe leading up to Yom Kippur and later, Sukkot. I'm also getting major health checkups, so my posting may be a bit erratic again. I won't know until I have more news.

Since I've been gone over the last several weeks, I've been doing lots of reading. Not just on Celiac Disease, but child development and child psychology. I must have printed at least half a ream of paper just doing that.

If you follow me on pinterest, I am sure you've noticed some of the studies I've been posting in my parenting boards. You might also notice that there are days that I post more of these things than I do of anything else. Much of the reasoning behind this has to do with the fact that I tend to study issues in spurts.

I would like to share some of the studies that I have been reading this summer. Some of them have to do with younger ages of children, and some of them have to do with school-aged children. The bulk of the information I have found is about gentle parenting methods, though some of it has to do with education.

I'm sure some would wonder why I'm compiling such a list together on my blog in the first place. Short answer: children are people too.  Longer answer: My egalitarian beliefs do not only extend to marriage, and I believe that if we see people in the image of G-d, we would deal with them with a lot more equity than most parenting methods allow for. Also, being Messianic, many of my parenting philosophies are highly influenced by Judaism, which doesn't allow for beating, talking down to, passive aggressiveness towards or speaking ill of your children in their presence. (Like some sects of Christianity do.)

Without further ado, here is my summer reading list:

It is my hope, that in sharing these articles and studies that I am able to help you find resources and spur you on to study the issue for yourself. With my background, I have a lot to overcome if I am to parent gently and with respect. You, might not. Our mileages vary.

I am leaving comments open on this post. The only thing that I ask, is that if there are to be any comments, remember that this is a gentle parenting, egalitarian blog and I will remove anything inflammatory that is posted in the comments. Not because I don't want to see the other side's point of view, but because I would like to encourage a gentle environment of understanding rather than people yelling their opinions over each other and being a general pain in the rear.